Friday, May 30, 2014
Oversized Nerd Sungasses in my bag." "Are you listening?" Shauna asked, impatiently. "Listen up, because these are things you need to know." I put my Oversized Nerd Sungasses back into my Fendi clutch and looked out the window as the cab zipped over the Brooklyn Bridge. All the while, I played with the Oversized Nerd Sungasses in my bag and Shauna gave me the juicy gossip: yes, Jeremy was filthy rich; he'd been married once, is now divorced, and, yes... he's filthy rich! "Wow," I said when she was done. "Yup," Shauna said. She saw me playing with my Oversized Nerd Sungasses. "Hey, don't be so nervous. I mean, he's only Manhattan's most eligible and sought-after bachelor." I laughed.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses with Cut Off Frames in the mirror, I slipped on a pair of gold swarovski studded Christian Louboutin Lady pumps. "What do you think?" Shauna asked, posing in the mirror with my Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses with Cut Off Frames. "Umm... I think the sun won't be out," I said, picking up a gold satin Judith Leiber clutch off the bed. "Nooo," Shauna replied, "I mean for sunny days. Do they suit my face shape?" I barely noticed her question as I checked my own reflection in the mirror and thought I may be too dressed up. "Don't worry," Shauna said slyly, " Jeremy will love it!" I laughed picked up my with Judith Leiber clutch and we left the apartment.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
At that moment, I realized that Jeremy had been watching the whole exchange. I caught him watching me kind of intently. He nervously waved 'hi' to me. I waved back (after I realized that Sharon had walked away). On our way out of the gallery party, I asked Shauna. What in the world did you say to her? Shauna triumphantly put on her Oversized Vintage Cat Eye Sunglasses and said, "I told her that... I knew people, of course!" I laughed and replied, "You must really know some people in high places!" Shauna chucked. "Well, in actually, I know someone that knows those people." Shauna adjusted her Oversized Vintage Cat Eye Sunglasses. "So, have you planned your outfit for Sharon's event at The Standard Hotel next week?". I thought about it. Wearing Oversized Vintage Cat Eye Sunglasses was out of the question of course, since the party was at night. "Well... no... I mean, she just told us about it!" Shauna laughed again and took off her Oversized Vintage Cat Eye Sunglasses. "Listen, these things must be planned in advance." We hailed a cab for Brooklyn again. I wondered if Jeremy would be at the party...
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Shauna laughed at me. "Girl, you got to know how to work these folks. Later for love." I took off my Round Cross My Heart Oversized Sunglasses and looked up at her. "Watch this," she said and sashayed over to Sharon. I saw Shauna introduce herself and work her way into Sharon's little black book of contacts. Then, the two of the walked back toward me. Sharon seemed a little more friendly and more attentive... What in the world to Shauna say to her? I nervously fiddled with my Round Cross My Heart Oversized Sunglasses. "And this Jesse," Shauna said, placing a hand on my shoulder, "Have you met her yet?" I quickly stuffed my Cross My Heart Oversized Sunglasses into my bag. "Oh, yes - we met already." I said. "Well, the two of you must come to my next event," Sharon said. She pulled 2 gorgeous matte black business cards out of her breast pocket and handed them to us. "The rooftop at the standard, next Friday evening, okay?" I started fiddling with the Round Cross My Heart Oversized Sunglasses in my handbag again...
Monday, May 26, 2014
Then, money-man chuckled and stuck his hand out to me. I stopped playing with the Cheap Oversized Sunglasses in my bag and shook his hand. "Of course... sorry... I'm Jeremy," he said, smiling warmly. I could have melted. Sharon was almost glaring at us. I dropped his hand and asked her, "Did you put this event together?" "No," she said, with a wry smile. I gulped and stuck my hand in my bag, and nervously fiddled with the Cheap Oversized Sunglasses again. Jeremy could sense her coldness and broke up the conversation with. He asked her, "So, was that the girl from Bloomberg I saw you talking to over there?" Sharon looked at me for a second longer and then turned to Jeremy. I let out a sigh of relief and stopped playing with my Cheap Oversized Sunglasses. I discreetly walked away to go and find Shauna. Shauna was in the corner chatting up one of the artists in the gallery's show. Shauna smiled mischievously as she saw me approaching. She excused herself from the artist. I put on my Cheap Oversized Sunglasses let out a huge sigh.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Affordable Oversized Designer Style Sunglasses to keep me from hiding from the conversation. "I know, I know" I grumbled, taking back my Affordable Oversized Designer Style Sunglasses. I put the Affordable Oversized Designer Style Sunglasses back inside my purse. "Is that his girlfriend?" Shauna asked, whispering like a school girl. "Ugh," I rolled my eyes. "I have no idea." "I think I recognize her, though. I think she's a publicist or something. She's be perfect to add to my circle." I plopped down on the bench beside her and put my Affordable Oversized Designer Style Sunglasses back on. Shauna sat down, too. "Yeah. Her name is Sharon... something. I didn't catch her last name, " I grumbled. "Geez... she must have been a jerk, huh?" Shauna said. "Huge," I replied.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Cheap Oversized Sunglasses with Black Frames. "Cool... wait... publicist?" "I'm a real estate developer." Dear Lord, I thought. I've possibly landed the biggest of all money men in Manhattan. I tried to contain my excitement and then reminded myself that, yes, he could still be a jerk. Then, his publicisit Sharon came strutting over. I fiddled with my Cheap Oversized Sunglasses with Black Frames. I hope this is not is girlfriend. I put my Cheap Oversized Sunglasses with Black Frames in my handbag and stuck out a hand to greet her. May as well be friendly now in case a possible beat-down ensues. Money-man and I stood up. Sharon shook my hand. "Hi! I'm Sharon!" she said as she took me all in from head to toe. "I'm Jess," I replied. Money-man looked back and forth between the two of us as we all stood there in awkward silence. Yup. This is definitely his girlfriend. I nervously dug in my bag played with my Cheap Oversized Sunglasses with Black Frames.
Friday, May 23, 2014
I began to feel even more self-conscious so I put on my Cheap Pink Round Vintage Sunglasses. Then he pulled out the granddaddy of all cell phones from his inner breast-pocket: a metallic gold Blackberry that I'd last heard was only being sold in Japan... for $3000.00 (don't ask me what it does). So, Hugo Boss? $3000.00 cell phone? I was sitting next to a money man. But still, I had to see what his personality was like. I looked back down at my own rinky dink iPhone and continued scrolling through Instagram. Then, money-man asked, "You're bored aren't you? I don't blame you. Gallery openings are the worst." His conversation was warm so I let down my guard and took off my Cheap Pink Round Vintage Sunglasses. "Do you go to a lot of these?" "Only when Sharon begs me to go." He pointed to a sharply dressed woman in a pair of black patent Louboutin Pigalle pumps. She was already looking our way. Uh oh. Girlfriend. What a jerk. "Is that your girlfriend?" The words came out before I could even think of what I was saying. This was unlike me. I put back on my Cheap Pink Round Vintage Sunglasses, hoping my cheeks weren't flushing red.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
While Shauna went off to mooch with the crowd, I decided to give my feet a rest in front of a giant glossy abstract sculpture. I scrolled through Instagram on my iPhone as I waited for the night to end. Just then, a sharply dressed young man sat down beside me on the bench, wearing Cheap Oversized Designer Inspired Sunglasses and what must have been a $3000.00 Hugo Boss suit. I nearly chuckled out loud at the striking difference between his shades and outfit. He must have heard me snicker because he turned to me as I was scrolling through my iPhone. I pretended to notice him or his Cheap Oversized Designer Inspired Sunglasses or his incredibly expensive suit. I got nervous and hoped he would go away while hoping her would strike up a conversation with me. I continued scrolling through Instagram. Cheap Oversized Designer Inspired Sunglasses turned to me again and said. "Here with friends?" ....... Geez. What a lame way to strike up a conversation...
Monday, May 19, 2014
Trendy and Cheap Oversized Sunglasses and leave! What have you gotten me into?" Shauna chuckled. "Okay - I should have warned you. There may be a few C or D-list celebs at this opening." I thought for a minute. I'm definitely putting on these Trendy and Cheap Oversized Sunglasses and getting out of here! "Who???" I asked. "Well... Julianna Hough is supposed to show up... and maybe Barbara Streisand... who knows," Shauna replied, coolly taking a champagne glass off a server's platter as he passed by. I grabbed one quickly before he got away and gulped it down. I was going to need it. Shauna dug inside her Louis Vuitton handbag, shuffling around her Trendy and Cheap Oversized Sunglasses until she could find her MAC lipstick. "Don't worry about," Shauna said. "This is why a replica handbag is so necessary. Forget the clothing. A high-end handbag would do all the work." Shauna replaced her Trendy and Cheap Oversized Sunglasses in her handbag and I looked down at my own semi high end handbag and sighed...
Sunday, May 18, 2014
The Cab arrived on Mott St., downtown Manhattan and Shauna adjusted her Vintage Oversized Sunglasses and stuck one Jimmy-Choo-ed heel out of the car and onto the sidewalk. I followed suit, as a hoard of photographers was waiting outside nearby a red carpet. Oh dear. What have I gotten myself into. Shauna took off her Vintage Oversized Sunglasses and flashed a bright white smile ad the camera men flashed away. I trotted to keep up with Shauna and we posed for a few pictures. Shauna said through her teeth, "Take off your sunglasses!" Oops! I took off my Vintage Oversized Sunglasses in a hurry and continued smiling nervously at the camera. The next guests walked onto the red carpet and we made our way inside. Shauna put her Vintage Oversized Sunglasses in her replica Louis Vuitton handbag. "What was that!" I said as I caught up with Shauna (she had a surprisingly fast strut in her 4-inch Jimmy Choo pumps). I was ready to put back on my Vintage Oversized Sunglasses and run down the street in embarrassment.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
I took off my pair of Oversized Sunglasses and put on her Trendy and Cheap Black Oversized Sunglasses. We walked into the lobby of Trump Towers. Shauna sashayed to the bathroom and I awkwardly followed behind. My eyes nervoulsy darted around beneath my Trendy and Cheap Black Oversized Sunglasses as we made a beeline toward the bathroom. Inside, Shauna pulled a wrinkle-free jersey pencil skirt from her handbag and slipped on and then quickly pulled off the linen wide-leg pants she had previously been wearing. Then she put back on her Trendy and Cheap Black Oversized Sunglasses, checked her reflection in the mirror and we left the bathroom. Shauna and I hopped a cab downtown. I peered at her from the corner of my eye. Shauna was a model of coolness, wearing her gorgeous Trendy and Cheap Black Oversized Sunglasses and wisps of her blowing around her forehead as wind rushed in through the open cab window. I rolled down the window and checked my own reflection in the sideview mirror, adjusting my Trendy and Cheap Black Oversized Sunglasses and pulled back my messy hair...
Friday, May 16, 2014
"Oh, which reminds me," Shauna said, "We've got a gallery opening to attend tonight!" Shauna took off her Oversized Sunglasses, put them in her Alma, and took out a pair of Cheap Tortoise Oversized Round Sunglasses. "What do you mean, 'we'?" I asked. I hadn't expected to hang out with her all evening but the idea of a gallery opening excited me. "I'm not even dressed right!" Shauna adjusted her Cheap Tortoise Oversized Round Sunglasses on her face and rolled her eyes. "Look - I've got an invite for 2. Don't worry about it. And this would be a great way for you to conduct some research, too. By the way, I need to go change in the lobby bathroom. Put these on. We're going inside." Shauna dug out another pair of Cheap Tortoise Oversized Round Sunglasses from her Louis Vuitton replica handbag and handed them to me. I took off my Oversized Sunglasses and put on her Cheap Tortoise Oversized Round Sunglasses. Then, we entered the lobby.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
"Well it's like this," Shauna continued, adjusting her own Black Vintage Oversized Sunglasses on her face, "VIP lounge rooms are great for networking. The more people you know, the more job opportunities come up. Possible connections with future billionaire men... I mean, the possibilities are endless. I mean, my high-end replica handbags let me into a secret society that just benefits me in so many ways." We passed Trump Towers and I peered up to the top of the building through my Black Vintage Oversized Sunglasses. "I get that," I replied. "This place for instance," Shauna went on. She took off her Black Vintage Oversized Sunglasses so she could look into the lobby of Trump Towers. "To look as if you're even a tenant here or that you know someone here, a high-end bag is a must." She put back on her Black Vintage Oversized Sunglasses. "I've come in here to the bar carrying a gigantic Celine Phantom is snakeskin, got lots of compliments on my bag, and next thing I know, I'm invited to an exclusive gallery opening downtown!"
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Cheap Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses from a street vendor. This new style matched my outfit perfectly, so I took off my old shades, and put on my Cheap Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses. During our walk, Shauna explained that hi-end designer handbags were part of your ticket into the wealthy in-crowd of Manhattan. Her hi-end replica handbags opened doors for her. She was able to easily network with lots of wealthy Manhattan-ites. "For instance," she explained, "I can wear a par of $10 Cheap Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses like the ones you're wearing. But a replica Chanel quilted purse will get me access to the VIP lounge at the Standard Hotel!" I chuckled a little. "Okay," I replied, "Cheap Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses aside, what so amazing about getting into the VIP lounge at the Standard Hotel?"...
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Super Oversized Round Sunglasses up her nose a little. "Yeah. I'm actually really surprised, too," she replied. A woman walked by in a Lululemon suit and Super Oversized Round Sunglasses that I wondered were authentic. I told Shauna, "I had no idea that there was so much pressure to wear authentic designer accessories in this arena!?" Shauna pushed her Super Oversized Round Sunglasses up her nose again, "Yep. Honestly... that's why I myself buy designer accessories. They seriously give you access to the best circles in Manhattan!". She took off her Super Oversized Round Sunglasses and asked me to inspect the Louis Vuitton monogram bag she was carrying. I looked closely at it. "It looks authentic to me! I seriously can't tell the difference. She nodded in agreement and put back on her Super Oversized Round Sunglasses. "Yep - that's the idea." We got up off the bench and headed toward the pond...
Friday, May 2, 2014
Cheap Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses and told us that even those were replicas but they were the only other replica item she owned... and certainly wouldn't be the last. She also remarked that her Cheap Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses only cost her $50.00 but she wasn't sure she would keep them... and stared at them a while longer and said they were actually cute. Then she wore the Cheap Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses and took off her other shades and we all chuckled at her fickleness. Anyhow, with new Cheap Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses on her face, she said that she had to keep buying designer accessories if she wanted more invites to the latest luncheons, parties, and wealthy inner-circles. I looked at her Cheap Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses and then looked and her and I was quite shocked to admit this. Then one of her friends walked by also wearing Cheap Oversized Cat Eye Sunglasses and she told Shauna and I that she would catch up with us later. I couldn't wait to gossip with Shauna about all I'd just heard!
Thursday, May 1, 2014
So there we were, strolling through Central Park, each wearing Popular Cheap Oversized Sunglasses. And Shauna's friend revealed to us that she owned a replica Celina handbag. She explained that her husband and changed his job 2 years ago and was making far less than he used to (when she lifted her Popular Cheap Oversized Sunglasses off her face, I thought I saw her shed a tear!). Anyhow, he urged her to cut down on her spending and that's when she discovered the underground world of designer replica accessories. I was amazed that Shauna did not reveal her own love of replica accessories at that point. It was impossible to tell what she was thinking under those super dark Popular Cheap Oversized Sunglasses. Anyhow, we each sat down on a bench, put our Popular Cheap Oversized Sunglasses on top of our heads and listened to Shauna's friend continued her story. She told us that her replica Celina bag only cost $250.00, including shipping!