I began to feel even more self-conscious so I put on my Cheap Pink Round Vintage Sunglasses. Then he pulled out the granddaddy of all cell phones from his inner breast-pocket: a metallic gold Blackberry that I'd last heard was only being sold in Japan... for $3000.00 (don't ask me what it does). So, Hugo Boss? $3000.00 cell phone? I was sitting next to a money man. But still, I had to see what his personality was like. I looked back down at my own rinky dink iPhone and continued scrolling through Instagram. Then, money-man asked, "You're bored aren't you? I don't blame you. Gallery openings are the worst." His conversation was warm so I let down my guard and took off my Cheap Pink Round Vintage Sunglasses. "Do you go to a lot of these?" "Only when Sharon begs me to go." He pointed to a sharply dressed woman in a pair of black patent Louboutin Pigalle pumps. She was already looking our way. Uh oh. Girlfriend. What a jerk. "Is that your girlfriend?" The words came out before I could even think of what I was saying. This was unlike me. I put back on my Cheap Pink Round Vintage Sunglasses, hoping my cheeks weren't flushing red.